The Psychology of Feeling “Stuck” and How to Move Again
People often come into therapy saying, “I feel stuck.” They describe wanting change. A different career. A different relationship. A different internal life. But they feel unable to move. They’ll say things like, “I know what I should do, but I can’t make myself do it,” or, “I feel like there’s something inside me holding me back.”
From the outside, this can look like procrastination or paralysis. But psychologically, feeling stuck is rarely about laziness or lack of motivation. It is almost always about internal conflict.
There is usually one part of a person that wants movement, growth, or possibility. And there is another part that is afraid of what movement might cost.
In therapy, people often describe both parts without realizing it. The forward-moving part says, “I want to apply for that job.” The protective part quietly responds, “If I try, I might fail,” or, “If I succeed, things might change in ways I can’t control,” or, “Someone may get hurt if I grow.”
In Internal Family Systems language, this protective part is called a protector. In psychoanalytic terms, it is a defense shaped by early relational experience. Both perspectives agree on something important: this part is not sabotaging you. It is protecting something vulnerable.
Often, that vulnerable part is younger. It may have learned that ambition led to disappointment, that self-expression led to shame, or that wanting more made someone else uncomfortable. At some point, staying small felt safer than moving forward. So the protector learned to freeze you. Not to punish you, but to keep you from re-experiencing an old pain.
Understanding this is the beginning of movement.
When someone feels stuck, I invite them to slow down and explore what the stuckness is protecting. Trying to force action usually backfires. It tends to activate the protector even more. Instead, we get curious.
What is the fear underneath the paralysis?
Whose voice is echoing inside?
What would movement threaten?
What would success expose?
When those questions are asked gently and consistently, the freeze often begins to soften. You do not need to bulldoze your way into change. You need to understand the internal system that has been trying to keep you safe.
In practice, movement usually starts small. Not applying for the job, but updating the résumé. Not having the big conversation, but identifying what you would want to say. These micro-movements help the protective part learn that movement does not automatically lead to danger.
Therapeutic relationships matter here, too. When someone can sit with your fear without pushing you to override it, your nervous system learns something new. It learns that movement can be safe. Sometimes even supported.
Feeling stuck is not a personal failure. It is a sign of an inner conflict you have not yet learned to listen to. When you understand the parts inside you and what they are trying to protect, movement becomes possible again. Not through force, but through permission.
Harrison Tract
Psychotherapist
Apex Minds Psychotherapy
